Wednesday, May 20, 2009

We interupt our regularly scheduled programming. . .

We interrupt the regularly scheduled programming to bring you this news flash. Well, it feels like I have to make a big deal about stopping all other activities (of which there are too many) to simply share our latest big news. Yesterday we received a draft copy of the evaluation report from the formal evaluation done on Sam. The evaluation was to determine if Sam is considered to have Autism Spectrum Disorder. First let me say that I’m not afraid of labels when labels are used to help find solutions. So that said, yes, Sam is in fact considered to fit ASD. We are relieved in a way to finally have something to validate the concerns we have noticed for years. For us this isn’t just a label and is definitely not a negative thing. Sam is who he is. He is funny, loveable, outgoing, Mr. Personality, smart and just a great kid. We love him so much. But there are things that he really struggles with. We have tried diligently to provide him everything we can come up with to help him. Some things work better than others. Sometimes doing the same things work and then all of the sudden it doesn’t. We admit we aren’t perfect parents and not the perfect family. But we are definitely a family that cares about each other and want to help each other succeed in life and feel good about who we are. So we look forward to additional help! We say bring on the help! At this point we feel like anything can help make a difference. We look forward to our IEP meeting next week and hope that it goes well in helping to develop a specific plan for Sam that will help all of us on this journey.

I also have to say that we have been very blessed to be put in places and situations where we have met others who are dealing with the same thing. It all feels very well orchestrated. It has been an interesting couple of months having the right things and the right people in the right places just at the right time. I won’t recall all supposedly coincidental scenarios but one of my favorites came on a day quite recently that I was feeling a little stressed by knowing what to do for Sam. I took a break from my regularly scheduled programming. I stopped working on museum things. I stopped working on school work. I stopped doing laundry, bills, church stuff, and anything else on the never-ending list we all seem to have. I decided to take a drive into the country to check out a ½ off book sale at a school, thanks to a tip from a good friend who was working the sale. I felt guilty about doing something that shouldn’t have been as high on the priority list. But it felt like the right thing to do so I moved on.

I found the school and my friend. I started to peruse the books finding birthday presents and summer reading and making a stack of what to choose from. Another woman near me said “aren’t you Sam’s mom?” I must admit my first thought, although not verbalized was “what, I’m in the tiny town of Beal City for heaven sakes, how many people KNOW Sam!” I simply replied “yes”. She then introduced herself and I realized why she looked a little familiar. She is the OT that works with kids at our school (among others). She was a participant in the very first meeting we had early this year to discuss how we can find a way to get Sam OT, which is the one thing his Kindergarten teacher felt he could benefit from. This is the meeting where after reviewing all the facts it was decided to have him observed to see if an evaluation for ASD could be done. She then said some things that changed my whole day. Her comment was “I hope you don’t take this the wrong way but I really hope he qualifies for services because I would love to work with Sam”. That made me smile. Most adults do love Sam because his personality is so much fun. You never know what will come out of his mouth next. I think he should be a standup comedian some day. Anyway, she then proceeded to tell me the cutest story of how she saw a girl come up to him the other day and say “Sam I love your shoes”. I guess it took him back a bit and although he knows how to dish out the compliments he said “well I love your, your, your… (looking for the right thing to say) your FACE!” I’m still giggling about this one.

I left the book fair with some great deals and a smile both inside and out that not only does my son make others smile but that this sweet woman has a genuine desire to help our son. She made my day. The drive home became so refreshing. Instead of worrying about Sam and how to help him, as well as the never-ending list of things to get done, I noticed just how beautiful the day was. The air was crisp and clean. Life was all around me, colors of green and new growth instead of brown, dirty snow and ice. I couldn’t help but notice how blessed I am to live in such a beautiful place. How lucky for me to have experienced that brief conversation that changed my day. A lesson learned, sometimes we have to follow our feelings and take a break from our regularly scheduled programming. You never know what good may come.

Monday, May 4, 2009

Making A Difference

My father died one year ago. This morning May 1st as I was thinking over so many aspects of the museum project, particularly considering our first BIG fundraiser is now behind us (check out the news story and video), I was reminded of something my father always tried to teach me. Probably from the time I was a teenager my dad always seemed to take opportunities to make me believe that I could make a difference. When he helped me with my first resume or two he always made sure it said “I want to make a difference”. The first time he suggested I put that on I did so but I still recall thinking “do I” or “what exactly does that mean”? I gave it thought then but often wondered, what makes him think I really feel that way. I realize this morning that the statement is true but has so many more implications beyond just me.

One of the many things that keep me so drawn to volunteering so much time to the museum effort is the concept of making a difference within our community by providing this great museum for families and children. However, the process to get there is all about making a difference as well. The idea that this project will truly become a community project and pull people, talents, resources and all the good stuff together is also very motivating to me.

The summer before my 5th grade year we had a major house fire in the middle of the night. Half of the home was destroyed along with two new cars and my pet bird. As my dad and brother were sitting on the lawn that early morning while things were calming a bit, a newer family to the area, that we didn't even know that well, stopped by as they were driving out of town on vacation. They handed over the keys to their home and said please stay in our home while we are gone. That continued to happen back to back all summer until we secured a temporary rental not far from home and our amazing neighborhood, while our home was rebuilt. Although our family received direct blessings of help from so many, the thing I remember most is what happened to all the people around us. Everyone came together to work on a common project that brought about good. Our neighborhood changed. People were kinder, more thoughtful, and reached out more in general. It was overwhelming in a good way for my parents that our tragedy became the means for bringing about opportunities that brought people together.

The children’s museum is not a tragedy but I can’t help but think about this lesson I learned so long ago. It is amazing what happens when people come together in a common goal, particularly when that goal is based in good human values of families and children. I am so happy to be a part of that and invest into this community which we really enjoy and hope to stay in. I can’t wait to see what happens as the project progresses and more and more people begin to feel that same sense of common goal.

Last night at our major fundraiser a wonderful woman in the community was honored for her dedication and influence on so many through her love of music. She sang a song and shared a simple message. She basically shared how she felt about a wonderful community. I thought she hit it on the head when she sang. She reminded me that my father was right we can all make a difference. Thank you Dad!

We don't have to wait for Make A Difference Day, we can do something any and every day of the year.